


Something About Us

by MajinPiccolo



Category: Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Super, Dragon Ball Z
Genre: I have a million WIPs but I wrote this instead, M/M, Sexual Humor, Yamza - Freeform, attempted to keep this in character despite the situation, but nothing too explicit, includes a reference to the infamous Yamza scene from FighterZ, minor one sided Tiencha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-04 03:01:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21190469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajinPiccolo/pseuds/MajinPiccolo
Summary: After being single for years Yamcha has worked up the courage to publicly confess his feelings to Tien! ...but maybe he shouldn't have done it in the dark. Or you know, maybe double checked who was standing next to him before kissing the wrong bald guy?While Frieza had no intention of finding romance during his time on Earth, he goes along with it. After all, it pisses Vegeta off, which is hilarious... and well, this Yamcha guy is kinda hot...Another goofy but hopefully reasonably in character fic for my favorite makes-so-little-sense-that-it-starts-making-perfect-sense trash pair.





	1. Midnight Hours

Something About Us by MajinPiccolo

Chapter One: Midnight Hours 

“You want me to shut the lights off at midnight? Come on, it’s a New Year’s Eve party, that’s the climax of the event! Why would I do something that would kill the mood?” Bulma stared critically at her former boyfriend Yamcha as he pleaded. 

“Just trust me! It’s for… for romantic reasons!” 

“Wait, seriously?” She giggled. “Consider it done then! You know I’m always happy to help you out with the ladies-“ Yamcha flinched and his ex paused. “Wait. It’s not a lady you’re planning on making a move on?” 

“Uh, yeah, it isn’t…” 

“That explains a lot. You always did trigger my gaydar just a little, but I overlooked it ‘cuz, well, us.” She leaned in, nudging a blushing Yamcha. “So tell me, who’s the lucky guy? Now that I think about it I do have a suspicion-“ 

“I can’t tell you that! There’s a reason I wanted to confess my feelings in the dark you know! This is- is- it’s embarrassing! I’m bad at these things!” 

“You do suck at the art of love. Fine then, I won’t pester. But I’ll make sure to cut the lights at exactly twelve AM and let you do the rest, Romeo!” 

“Thanks Bulma, I can always rely on you!” 

“And don’t you forget it! Once you’ve pulled this stunt off maybe we could all go on a double date-“ 

Yamcha shook his head. “Probably a bad idea, you know he’s never exactly been Vegeta’s biggest fan- I’ve said too much anyway thanks Bulma see you at the party!” He then rushed out before he could say anything else incriminating. 

He arrived home in time to have about an hour to get ready for the evening’s festivities. Puar greeted him at the door. “How did it go, Lord Yamcha?” 

“Bulma agreed to my request! Which means I have to go through with it… Tonight I’m finally going to tell Tien how I feel about him!”

“You’re so brave! But I’m sure this will go well for you, the two of you have had chemistry for years!” 

“I hope you’re right, Puar. I’m so nervous I can barely think!” 

One shower later, Yamcha stood in his closet, going through every outfit twice over before finally deciding on a white suit. The party was semi formal, and he had more of a reason than usual to dress to impress! After a few fruitless minutes of trying to get his hair to lie flat he gave up and just ponytailed it. A quick spritz of cologne and he was ready to go. “Let’s do this!” He stepped toward the door, but Puar hung back.

“If things do work out between you two, maybe I should… not be at home?” 

Blushing like crazy, Yamcha nodded. “Yeah, that might be a good idea. Maybe… I know, Tien mentioned Chaiotzu wasn’t coming, maybe you could keep him company? Since if I do end this night with a boyfriend, well, he’ll likely be coming home with me?” 

“Okay! You go to the party, and I’ll stay back long enough to wash your bedsheets then I’ll go meet up with Chiaotzu, alright Lord Yamcha?” 

So embarrassed he couldn’t speak, Yamcha just nodded and rushed out the door. 

\- - - 

Earth would never be a home for Frieza- he’d be happy to see the planet reduced to dust, and made no secret of the fact. But he’d been using it as a base of sorts since several months after bringing Broly and Paragus to it. The temporary truce he’d enacted with the Saiyans was for one reason and one reason only- to learn Son Goku’s weaknesses and eventually completely destroy him in the name of revenge. But to do so he’d agreed to become the monkey’s sparing partner, and somehow had wound up getting invited to Vegeta’s wife’s New Year’s get together after several months of this. 

He took no pleasure in the idea of spending more time with these people than absolutely necessary, but… 

The terms of the truce had necessitated that he was alone on planet without his usual staff. And while Frieza wouldn’t say he was lonely- of course he wasn’t!- the idea of one evening without his usual solitude wasn’t completely disagreeable. If nothing else it would give him a chance to remind them of his superior class. The invitation had specified formal attire after all, and of course the emperor dressed up quite nicely. 

With that in mind, he looked through the limited clothing he’d brought on his ship. His preference was to avoid clothing in the first place, but he understood for diplomatic purposes it was sometimes necessary and always carried a few styles with him in case such a need arose. After deciding his formal robes would likely seem excessive, he decided on perfectly tailored suit that was similar in style to what he’d seen some earthling men wearing for formal functions. The fabric of it was soft enough that it didn’t irritate Frieza’s skin to the same degree as many clothing items did, and he ran his fingertips down his sleeves a few times, appreciating the feel of it. 

After a quick glance in the mirror confirmed he looked amazing Frieza headed out.

\- - - 

Tien never felt at home at parties, or large social gatherings in general. The noise disturbed his focus and of course the event itself disrupted his training. Since starting his own dojo he’d been particularly attentive to that, but Chiaotzu had said he could keep an eye on things for the evening at least, and Yamcha had been unusually insistent that Tien was present at the event. It was primarily for his friend’s sake that he’d accepted the invitation- he couldn’t think of the last time he’d attended something like this, and even had to dig to the back of his limited wardrobe to find an outfit to have something appropriate to wear for such a formal event. He dug out a silk shirt he hadn’t worn in years- it was still in good shape, but he’d grown buffer over his many years of focused training, so it was a bit tight. Oh well. He could put up with anything for a couple hours just to be polite, but he figured he’d head home around midnight. 

The event was held in Capsule Corp’s garden, which was decorated with lanterns and strings of lights as well as a large display counting down the minutes until midnight. Some of his friends were conversing, or dancing, or casually sparing, or enjoying the buffet. And of course, quite a few of the adults present were drinking. Not exactly his scene, so he kept an eye on the clock. 

Meanwhile, Yamcha was doing his best to stay calm despite being a ball of nerves. In his mind he kept rehearsing the speech he’d prepared, and he almost didn’t notice Frieza’s presence until Tien pointed him out. 

“Oh yeah, you haven’t been around, but I guess I’ve gotten used to it. He pretended to call a truce with Goku so that he could find an excuse to defeat him or something similarly obvious, but, well, you know Goku! He’ll go along with anything if he gets a good fight out of it,” Yamcha shrugged. His eyes lingered on Frieza for a moment- in all of his admittedly limited experience with the alien, this was the first time he’d seen him in clothes. The emperor walked casually through the party, his nose in the air, pausing long enough at the buffet’s drinks table to get a glass of red wine, then returned to the side of the room where he glared disdainfully at all present. 

Yamcha was a lot more afraid of what he’d be confessing in another hour or so than the villain in their presence, so he returned his attention to Tien. Meanwhile, the other man continued to wait out the clock, preparing to make a quiet exit at midnight when likely everyone would be too busy getting excited over the new year to notice he’d left. In fact, as the night wore on he began to really question why Yamcha had insisted on his presence- his old friend seemed distracted and nervous, he barely even spoke! 

Off to the side, Frieza brushed off a question from a small child who looked a bit like Vegeta- perhaps his offspring? Frieza didn’t care enough to ask- and finished his third glass of wine. What was being served at this event was surprisingly decent considering his high standards, and the warm beginnings of a buzz made the whole situation more tolerable. He decided another glass would be a good idea, and started to head toward the beverage table when the rest of the group started counting down from ten. 

Oh yes, he’d almost forgot this whole celebration was for the new year. The idea of assigning such significance to the motion of one little planet around its star was amusing to the emperor of space, but oh well. 

By the drinks Yamcha and Tien were waiting. Yamcha had made sure he and the man he planned to confess to were there, as he’d planned to toast what would hopefully be a new relationship with a glass of Champagne. As his friends counted down he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

“Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” He opened his eyes just as the party was plunged into darkness, and forced the words out past his pounding heart. 

“I have a confession for you. I know that over the years we’ve been, well, rivals or something, but I’ve always admired you. Your strength, both physical and mental. Your ability to be both confident in yourself without it coming across as excessive, yet just arrogant enough to show you know your worth. The way you can focus… there’s just something incredibly special about you. I’ve- I’ve had feelings for you for a long time, but tonight I want to ask… will you do the honor of dating me?” The words finally out and the courage imparted by several beers in his heart, he reached out, his hand landing in the darkness on the smooth silky fabric of his shirt over his broad, muscular shoulder, and in his rush to seal the deal while the darkness still hid his embarrassment Yamcha didn’t question why Tien was kneeling down and just bent down himself to capture his lips- fuller and softer than he could have guessed!- with his own for a lingering kiss- 

-until the lights came up a moment later and he found himself staring directly into the eyes of a very confused Frieza. Yamcha pulled away with a gasp and his gaze landed on Tien, half way to the door and staring back at him with shock. To make things worse, everyone in the area had heard what he said, and he could feel the judgement of his friends landing upon him- 

He opened his mouth to say how it was a mistake, but was caught off guard when Frieza lifted his hands and firmly pushed their bodies apart, a light blush darkening his cheeks as he glared at the human. After a moment of terrifying eye contact, he cleared his throat, spun around on his heel, and took a few steps away before changing his mind and pausing. Without turning back around he simply said, “I may be a villain, but even I know you shouldn’t just… put your mouth on someone without asking for permission first.” Yamcha was left sputtering as Frieza grabbed a fresh glass of wine and returned to his previous position on the sidelines.

Fuck. 

A few yards away, Tien sighed. Well, as much as he’d wanted to leave he could tell his friend needed him, maybe this is why he’d been so insistent that Tien attended, he’d needed the emotional support? He returned to Yamcha’s side. The other man had looked dejected but straightened up as he approached. Tien knew he was way out of his depth here- he’d never been interested in romance. As much as he enjoyed Yamcha’s company as a fellow warrior he couldn’t connect with his obsession with finding a partner. The very idea that he was interested in that way in someone like Frieza was downright repulsive, but it was clear even to Tien that this was the real reason the other man had been so distant and distracted all night. With a deep breath, he placed a hand on Yamcha’s shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring manner and spoke. 

“I’m not going to pretend I understand how you’re feeling, or can accept the idea of feeling affection for someone like… Like him,” Yamcha opened his mouth to say something but Tien silenced him with a quick glare. “Wait, let me finish. Even so, I respect you for being so open. I doubt I’d ever fall for someone, but if I did, I don’t know if I’d have the courage to risk rejection in front of a large group like that.” He smiled a little. “I’m impressed. Confused, too, but mostly impressed.” 

Yamcha stared, dumbfounded, as Tien stepped away. He was vaguely aware of the similarly confused reactions of his other friends as they converged around him but he only had eyes for the man he’d meant to confess to. 

…well then. In one conversation the other man had both dashed any hope he’d had that his feeling were shared, and expressed approval of the idea of him and Frieza? He knew it was a little lame but hey, he wanted that respect. So maybe he’d wait until another time to let the full truth come out, and decided to settle on deflecting what he’d said rather than outright denying it. 

Holding up his arms in a motion of surrender, he laughed at the questions of Goku, Krillin, and several others. “Don’t mind me, guys, just must have had a few drinks too many tonight! Anyway, happy new year!” 

“You’re a weird one, man!” Krillin laughed, and the party more or less returned to normal. 

Except, of course, Frieza. 

In the final seconds before midnight, the emperor had simply intended to grab a glass of wine and thus had initially ignored the rambling of the human who stood to the table’s side, but when the man had the audacity to grab him and pull him in for a kiss?! 

As the lights came back up he’d fully intended to murder the weakling, but as they moved apart, he’d recognized him. 

He’d faced this human back during the Android 21 situation. His strength had been nothing special- aside from how weak it was in comparison to many of Son Goku’s other associates- yet he’d stood out for two reasons. 

The first was his clear, groveling understanding of Freiza’s superior strength. 

The second? Well… he was quite handsome. 

So when this man started rambling as though they had some sort of connection, and then pressed his lips to the emperor’s? 

No one. NO ONE had ever considered such a bold move. This human deserved to die for it! Or…

Perhaps he’d allow it. It’s not like it had been… unpleasant, he supposed. As long as it didn’t happen ever again. He stared at the human over the rim of his wine glass. 

“Hey, he’s watching you,” Bulma elbowed her ex, “and if I’m not mistaken, he’s blushing. You should go talk to him-“ 

“Were you not listening?” Yamcha whispered, “I told you not to overthink it, I was just, you know, feeling the alcohol-“ 

She just giggled and gave him a big wink. “Right. Can’t fool me, you were stone cold sober when you talked to me about your light trick this afternoon. Don’t worry, Frieza’s a weird choice but I’m gonna help you.” 

Yamcha grabbed her arm. “No way! Are you forgetting who we’re talking about here?! You do NOT want to provoke him!” 

“Oh, I’m not afraid of Frieza. I have a very strong and very protective husband who’s been looking for an excuse to kick his butt all night. And besides, he can’t be all bad if you’re crushing on him!” She shook free of his grip and walked to the other side of the room. Yamcha cringed, then rushed off to find Vegeta before his ex girlfriend could get herself killed. 

Frieza had been discretely keeping an eye on the human, doing his best to look unaffected as he tried to decide how to proceed. Since the group present weren’t exactly fond of him they’d mostly been keeping their distance all night (other than a few attempts by Goku to convince him to spar, but since he was in his good clothing and trying to make a point about his own refinement that wasn’t about to happen), so he was a little annoyed when Vegeta’s wife suddenly approached him. 

He’d never spent any time with the woman and had zero interest in starting now. Even if for some reason he’d wanted to befriend humans anyone who’d take a Saiyan monkey as a spouse was clearly a being of poor taste and questionable judgement. 

“Hey, Frieza, sorry to interrupt your whole ‘self absorbed badass loner’ routine, but I wanted to give you some advice real quick!” 

He rolled his eyes and took another sip of his wine, pointedly ignoring her so that she’d go away. Bulma was undeterred. 

“So he’s a bit of an idiot, it’s true, and he’s no where near as strong as someone like you or my husband, but I used to date Yamcha. He’s a good guy.” 

“Yamcha?” 

“The guy that just poured his heart out obviously!” 

“I have zero interest in whatever point you’re trying to make-“ 

Bulma just smiled. “Well you should. Things might not have worked out between us but I’ll still say it- Yamcha’s pretty hot, isn’t he?” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

The faint blushing she’d noticed before had returned, making it very clear that he did. “Oh my gawd, you totally agree, it’s obvious! I can’t believe that’s your type!” 

As she snickered, Frieza wondered if his mission on Earth was really worth this indignity. Maybe one quick murder to remind everyone that he was still a threat would be reasonable? 

Bulma continued giggling, lowering her voice slightly. “But trust me, you should take him up on his invitation. He’s… good with his mouth. And I don’t just mean kissing-“ 

Frieza choked on his wine and was about to vaporize her- truce be damned!- for daring to suggest he’d be interested in something so vulgar, but he was interrupted by Vegeta shoving his way through the crowd and stopping between them, followed closely by the human they’d been discussing, clearly panicked. 

“I don’t know what you’re trying but if you think for just one second I’m going to allow this you’re mistaken!” Vegeta shouted, drawing the attention of everyone present. “I’m permitting you to be on this planet as long as you’re just fighting with Kakarot like you two agreed, but if you’re trying to mate with my wife’s ex-“ 

“You’re getting ahead of yourself as usual, Vegeta,” Frieza cut him off. His anger was hilarious though… 

Oh, why not? 

“You know, this party is getting tedious anyway. I think I’ll take my leave.” He turned toward the door, but as he did so, he glanced back over his shoulder. “Shall we, Yamcha?” He didn’t wait for an answer and hooked his tail around the human’s wrist, dragging him off with him. 

He’d been alone for quite a while at this point. If nothing else, having someone be so devoted to him would be a nice return to his usual status. Plus anything that aggravated Vegeta was amusing to him, and of course there was the fact that the prince’s wife had a point about Yamcha’s mouth- for kissing at least! He wasn’t about to think about what else she’d been trying to imply!

Yes… why not see what further entertainment could be derived from this Yamcha?

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad… 

End Chapter One: Midnight Hours

Author’s Note: The number of WIPs I currently have is embarrassing. My apologies to those of you who were waiting for specific ones. This one is getting published first since it’s turning out to be the easiest to write. So yeah.


	2. Instant Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frieza and Yamcha have a few misunderstandings. Mainly they think they other is trying to get physical when they're talking about other things entirely. But Frieza still invites himself to move in with Yamcha...
> 
> I changed the rating since this chapter's humor pushes it and I just wanted to be safe.

Something About Us by MajinPiccolo

Chapter Two: Instant Crush

The cold air as they left Capsule Corp hit Yamcha like a bucket of ice water, and for a moment he was sure he was about to wake up. 

He didn’t. He was still several feet behind the most dangerous being on this planet. He sighed. 

“Alright, Frieza. I know where this is going. Let’s do this.” 

The emperor stopped and turned back around, arms folded. “Whatever do you mean?” 

Yamcha shrugged. “Its obvious why you dragged me out here away from the rest of the group. You know that if someone saw they’d probably try and stop it.” 

Frieza narrowed his eyes. “What are you trying to imply here, Yamcha?”

“Look, I’m not new to this. When someone like you seems to notice someone like me it’s always with bad intent.”

“You’re strangely confident about this. Are all human minds so naughty?”

Yamcha wasn’t sure why Frieza was giving him such a strange look, or why he was hesitating to kill him. With as many times as he’d died at this point he was kinda calm about it- he knew he’d be back. And undoubtably history was about to repeat itself yet again. After all, clearly Frieza was upset that Yamcha had dared to touch him, and it was obvious what was going to happen next. But Frieza’s posture didn’t seem like he was about to strike- 

\- of course! That nice suit he’s wearing! He likely didn’t want to ruin it. “I’m not gonna try and run off, it’s okay. You can take a minute to get out of that suit.” 

Frieza seemed uncharacteristically shook by that statement. Yamcha couldn’t help but laugh a little. “I know, I know, you’ve probably never had someone so eager to get it over with, right? Well, like I said, I’ve had some experience with this. So go on, take off your clothes so that we can do what we need to without you having to worry about the mess-“ 

“It’s… going to be messy?” Frieza’s eyes were wide. “I suppose that makes sense. But what makes you so certain that I’m willing to do this with you?” 

Now it was Yamcha’s turn to be a bit confused. “What do you mean? Haven’t you been planning this ever since I kissed you?”

“Of course not, don’t be disgusting. Most cultures, including my own, aren’t as barbaric as yours apparently is. What you’re suggesting isn’t something I do casually!” 

“Are you kidding? Come on, Frieza, just because we haven’t fought before doesn’t mean I’m not familiar with your reputation! I know for a fact you do this all the time, without hesitation or any particular thought!” 

Well, that seemed to do it. Frieza was pissed, and while Yamcha had thought he was prepared to go visit with King Yamma again, well, he couldn’t help but feel his heart pound when Frieza grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “Who’s been spreading these lies?!” 

“What?!” 

“I said, who’s been saying such inaccurate things about me?! Give me their names and I will make them suffer!” 

“Everyone says it! Goku, Vegeta, King Kai, literally everyone! You did this to the entire population of planet Vegeta, and tried to do it to the Nameks!” Seeing Frieza’s strange expression, he paused, “Wait… are you seriously trying to pretend you aren’t a notorious murderer while threatening violence on everyone who’s stated the obvious?!” 

“Wait…” Frieza let go and took a step back. “That’s… what this is about?” 

“Uh, yeah? Weren’t you planning to kill me? What did you think I was talking about?” 

Frieza knew he was was blushing again, and that just made him angrier. “That damned woman… putting these ideas into my head…” 

“Sorry to interrupt but, uh, I’m really confused, are you going to kill me or not?” 

“SHUT UP.” Frieza stomped off, leaving a very confused Yamcha. Oh well, he was just happy to be alive, and rushed home before the emperor could change his mind. 

A reasonable distance away from this, Frieza covered his face with his hands, trying to clear his mind. He didn’t like having his composure shook like that. He knew that if Vegeta’s wife hadn’t said something so crude about Yamcha’s skills his mind wouldn’t have gone straight to the gutter a few minutes ago, but even after realizing he’d completely misunderstood the situation his body was stubbornly refusing to calm back down. 

Funny how that worked. Frieza was no prude, but he wasn’t exactly ‘active’ in that regard either. He was simply too busy with more important things to waste much time thinking about sex. But… with the thought in his mind it was proving hard to shake. Eventually he decided to wait an hour- just to be absolutely sure he was fully back in control of his urges- then go find Yamcha. 

He still liked the idea of having the man be loyal to him. To make Vegeta angry, of course- not because the loneliness was bothering him or because he was so damn good looking and most certainly not because of his mouth- 

-well fuck. Realizing he was getting worked up again he forced his mind to think about anything else, and a little under an hour later he headed off in the direction he’d seen Yamcha fly to. 

\- - - 

Back at his apartment, Yamcha leaned against the door frame. The night couldn’t have gone further from his plans if he’d tried. With a sigh he headed to the bedroom, tossing his nice clothes in a pile on the floor before tossing himself on the bed. 

After years of thinking he had a chance with Tien it was hard accepting that his infatuation wasn’t mutual. It didn’t help that he’d honestly felt like he had been his last chance- after so many years of being unlucky in love the easiest thing to do was convince himself that it was because he just hadn’t made a move on his destined partner yet. But if not Tien, then who? 

“Damn I’m lonely…” He muttered to the empty room. 

Then again… there was Frieza. 

If he wasn’t going to kill Yamcha for kissing him… and if Bulma hadn’t been exaggerating her claims that he was blushing while watching him after the accidental ‘confession…’ 

“Am I really so desperate that I’d consider dating a murderer?” He wondered out loud. 

…maybe he was. It’s not like Tien had always been a model citizen. Hell, Yamcha himself had some less than stellar deeds in his past. “And it did feel kinda nice, kissing him…” 

“Of course it did.” 

Yamcha sat up so fast that he fell off the bed in the process, getting tangled in the rug for a moment as he struggled back to his feet. “F-Frieza?!” 

The alien was sitting casually in the window. “Are you humans always this nervous?” 

“What do you expect?!” Yamcha was almost more annoyed than afraid at this point. “I can only stay calm about my upcoming death for so long before my nerves start to fray!” 

Frieza rolled his eyes. “Are you really so desperate to make me reconsider accepting your invitation to date you?” 

“Wait a sec. You’re gonna d-date me?!” 

“Well of course. How could I turn down such a heartfelt confession? The fact that it upset Vegeta so very much is of course a nice bonus as well.” 

“Oh. Okay?” Despite having considered this very scenario only moments prior he wasn’t sure how he felt about it- or how to proceed. 

As Yamcha tried to sort out his thoughts, Frieza slipped the rest of the way through the window and strolled slowly around the room before stopping at the human’s side. “You’re a strange one. But you’re bold, and seem to be devoted. These are qualities I seek in an associate.” He smiled just slightly up at the human for a moment before carefully looking him over. 

…it was once his gaze reached Yamcha’s hips that he suddenly remembered he was naked, and with a speed that would have impressed even Goku he snatched a pillow from the bed and held it in front of his critical area. Frieza rolled his eyes. “I don’t share your culture’s hangups over nudity, I’d assume that much was obvious.” 

Yamcha swallowed hard then forced himself to speak, the words coming out entirely different from how he’d intended as he stumbled through them. “Well I mean it’s a human thing but I guess when humans are dating they see each other naked anyway and we’re dating now apparently even though I think you’re gonna kill me any moment and I should probably stop talking but I’m trying to undo the damage of this run-on sentence and uh I think I’m just making things worse and it’s really hard to read those eyes of yours even if they are super pretty-“

“You should probably shut up then.” Huh. Bulma wasn’t wrong- apparently it wasn’t hard to make Frieza blush after all? Not that Yamcha had really intended to make him do so, it was just when desperately searching for an appropriate conversation topic he’d happened to notice the way it looked like the emperor was wearing eyeliner…. 

Actually, now that he was seeing Frieza as pretty, it was hard to unsee it. Despite his deadly muscles the alien’s petite size and slightly curvy shape gave an impression of almost delicate, slender loveliness. Realizing his eyes were lingering quite obviously on the other man’s thick thighs Yamcha quickly redirected them to the ceiling, hoping his own blushing wasn’t as obvious as Frieza’s had been. 

While the answer to ‘would he date a murderer’ was still unclear, his body at least clearly didn’t mind the idea of sleeping with one. Right as that awkward thought hit his mind Yamcha noticed Frieza sitting down on the edge of his bed and froze. 

“This bed…” The alien paused to run his hands over the blankets and test the mattress by bouncing just slightly on it, “It’s very comfortable. I’m going to enjoy using it.” 

“Oh. You’ll be using m-my bed?” Yamcha stuttered, surprised by how forward the other man seemed to suddenly be. “You uh, are certainly moving things forward quickly, aheh, not that I mind or anything, it’s just a lot to get used to!” 

Frieza rolled his eyes. “Well, there’s no reason to delay things is there? Unless you’re having second thoughts.” He certainly was in no hurry to go back to the forced self sufficiency of living alone on his ship without a staff! Even if that damned truce he’d agreed to had prevented him from bringing his servants down from space he fully expected his new ‘date’ to fulfill their duties, starting with providing him comfortable living quarters. 

“No sir! No second thoughts here!” Yamcha replied quickly. This wasn’t exactly how he had expected his multi year dry spell to end, and well… as he looked over the smaller man’s strangely appealing- but also completely terrifying- body he wondered if he’d survive it! 

Unsure why the human was giving him such a strange look, Frieza asked, “From the way you’ve been acting, I’m having a hard time figuring out if you understand your position here?” 

“Oh Kami… uh, we can do this in whatever position you’d like! I’m flexible!” 

“Good, your willingness to serve me is appreciated.” Frieza smirked. “We’ll discuss the rest of the details in the morning then, for now I’d like to relax a bit, as I’m sure you understand. So go on then.” He flicked the tip of his tail in the direction of the door. It was late- a clock near the bedside indicated several hours had passed since their awkward midnight kiss… 

Yamcha didn’t notice the clear indication that he was supposed to leave, as he was too distracted overthinking the implications of helping Frieza ‘relax.’ Scared but excited in equal measure he went to join the other man sitting on the edge of the bed- 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Sorry, I… don’t exactly know how you want this,” Yamcha stood back up, more confused than ever but still willing. 

Frieza narrowed his eyes. “Obviously you won’t be using the bed.” 

“Oh! Okay, got it!” Thinking he finally understood, Yamcha knelt down on the floor beside the bed, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm his pounding heart before leaning forward and placing his trembling hands on the emperor’s thighs- 

“Excuse me?!” Frieza was on the other side of the room faster than the human was even capable of registering. 

Yamcha was too confused at this point to scared. “Look, I’m gonna be blunt here, Frieza. You’re going to have to tell me what you want, because I can’t figure it out. I mean, to be perfectly honest just from looking between your legs I’m not even sure how we’re gonna do this-“ 

“By ‘do this,’ what are you suggesting?!” 

“You know damn well what I’m suggesting! You were the one who brought up using the bed and positions and-“

“You… pervert. I should murder you where you stand for that!” A suddenly flustered Frieza shouted, and Yamcha finally got the hint and rushed out of the room. 

With a closed door between them he felt a little safer, and leaned against it with a sigh. “Right, of course, sleep,” he muttered. “Beds are for sleeping. Not just sex. Not sure why he’s staying here using mine though, I guess the one on his ship must suck? I did invest in that nice memory foam mattress… And now Frieza’s probably laying on it, all stretched out, his head on my pillow, his body between my sheets…” He was embarrassed with himself by how much he was enjoying that image- he couldn’t help it, he was still a bit worked up from what he thought was about to happen a few minutes ago. With a sigh he headed to the living room and laid back on the couch, finally tossing aside the pillow he was still clutching over his crotch and wrapping himself in a blanket. 

Not that he really thought that he’d be able to sleep. 

Frieza was in his apartment. One of the strongest, most evil, terrible beings to ever roam this universe, capable of destroying the entire planet with one attack. The more he thought about it the more the terror resurfaced. If something went wrong, even the tiniest thing, the consequences could be catastrophic, and there weren’t any Saiyans here to do anything about it. 

Not only that, but Yamcha had accidentally told this horrible man that he wanted to date him? And then a few minutes ago he’d thought he wanted to have sex? 

“I could not be further out of my depth here,” he whispered, rolling over on his side in a futile attempt to get comfortable. 

A few moments more of this and the tension became too much for him, and Yamcha stood back up, pulling the blanket around his waist like a towel. 

This really was all too much for him. Yamcha figured he’d find his phone, call Goku, admit the truth about his ‘love confession,’ and ask his friend to come over and get Frieza out of his apartment. Yeah, it sucked that he’d lose that little bit of respect that Tien had mentioned having for him after making such a bold public statement, but… 

While he knew he’d always have an attraction to his old friend, that evening had made it abundantly clear that it would never go anywhere, and he needed to go move on. 

After a little bit of quiet searching, it became apparent he’d left his phone in the bedroom. 

Fuck… as quietly as he could, he crept toward the door and prayed Frieza was asleep… 

Meanwhile, Frieza laid on his back, glaring at the ceiling. “Those crude humans, ugh,” he said to himself, shuddering slightly. “Is everything about sex for them? I’m starting to think playing along with this isn’t worth the trouble…” He did like this bed though. It was very comfortable. 

He relaxed back against it and shut his eyes, willing himself to fall asleep. As he began to drift off his mind wandered to the usual places- various plans and schemes, defeating Goku in assorted creatively violent ways… the warm skin of Yamcha’s hands coming to rest on Frieza’s thighs- 

The alien’s eyes snapped open and he quickly sat up. “Damn him… he may be too much of a distraction.” He got out of bed and began to pace back and forth across the room, thinking. 

Yes, perhaps the convenience of having someone around to serve him wasn’t worth it if it meant his senses would be dulled by the distraction of such vulgarity- 

Indeed, he was so distracted that he didn’t realize the door was opening until Yamcha had stepped half way through it. The human froze, and Frieza approached him, fixing his glare on the other man’s ridiculous face. 

He’d meant to say something but forgot what so he just kept glaring. 

Yamcha just stared wide eyed down at the him for a moment, then remembered he was here for a reason. He felt frozen in place by Frieza’s eyes though. 

After a few more seconds that stretched on forever the emperor finally found his words. “I’m leaving-“ but as he tried to step through the door his arm and Yamcha’s brushed past each other and he paused again. The human felt so warm. 

“You’re gonna go?” 

Making no move to actually do so, Frieza restated it. “I’m leaving. You should say goodbye.” 

Yamcha nodded very slowly. The two men were standing very close due to the confines of the door frame. Why did pure evil have to be so attractive? “Yeah, I should probably do that.” 

“Alright then.” 

It was as though he was hyper aware of everything. The silence of the dark apartment, the thin glow of the city lights curling in through the window, the intimidating, overwhelming force of Frieza’s unsuppressed ki beside him, the smooth, cool feel of his skin against his arm, the way his unreadable red eyes were fixed on his own… 

The emperor slowly lifted his left hand, turning to the human as he carefully slipped it behind his head, his fingers coming to rest threaded through his hair at the nape of his neck. 

Yamcha’s heart was still pounding but it was a different sort of fear this time. He felt Frieza pulling him closer, and almost without thought his own hands found a spot on the alien’s lower back. 

They’d both been so nervous earlier in the night on the occasions where they incorrectly thought the other was attempting to instigate sex, but now that it was actually happening they were both oddly calm. For the second time that night Yamcha leaned down and kissed Frieza, but unlike the prior kiss this one was both more relaxed- yet much more passionate. They leaned into one another’s touch, and after a few perfect moments pulled apart just enough for the human to say, “Sorry, you told me I should ask before I do that-“ 

“You have full permission to put your mouth on me anywhere you please,” Frieza answered, and pulled him back down for another kiss. 

“We’re really doing this this time?” Yamcha asked. When the smaller man confirmed with a nod, the human quickly scooped him up and hauled him over to the bed, tossing him on his back before climbing on top of him, his long hair falling around them. “You’re heavier than you look- I mean that in a good way!” He paused a moment to make sure Frieza wasn’t offended before continuing, “I guess it’s all that muscle. Your body is amazing.” 

“I assume you plan to worship it properly?” Frieza asked, curling his tail around Yamcha’s leg. 

“I plan to, but, uh… I’ve only done this with humans before. How should I-“ 

“I am NOT going to discuss it!” The emperor was blushing harder than ever at this point, and he grabbed his lover by the shoulders and pushed him down. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out!” 

He took the hint, and carefully used his fingers on the smooth skin between Frieza’s thighs, and sure enough, things began to become obvious, and it wasn’t long until both one man’s curiosity and the other man’s body were satisfied… 

Neither of them wound up getting any sleep that night. 

End Chapter Two: Instant Crush

Author’s note: I don’t know what I prefer when it comes to writing Frieza’s reaction to seeing a naked Yamcha- having him get flustered or having him be like “LOL nudity is no big deal.” Both crack me up. 

So like five minutes after posting the first chapter I realized I posted an old draft and quickly edited it, so btw if you read chapter one RIGHT the moment it was first published you might need to reread it if parts of this didn’t make sense. 

So yeah! Both men got what they wanted- Yamcha a boyfriend, Frieza an entertaining and devoted servant- but will that be a strong enough foundation for a real relationship to flourish? 

Anyway be on the lookout for the third and final chapter where Frieza horrifies Vegeta by talking about his new physical relationship and Yamcha comes clean about the intended recipient of his love confession. Will the relationship they accidentally wound up in be able to survive? Anyway if you read all this please understand that when people comment on my fics I get super excited! So please drop a comment if you have a moment!


End file.
